The Feeling Of Death

I now know how it will feel like when you die... almost. Nope I didn't get experience first hand, just that today's the day my results are out. When I heard results were out, I swear I felt my soul being sucked out of my body just like a spider eating it's insect dinner. Ever since the last day of my exams, I've been praying real hard at my little alter. Yea I know I said I'm atheist but after the exams, my heart never really stop pumping from the adrenaline. Every minute I have visions of me failing all four subjects even though I think the most I will fail is 2 papers, Commercial Law and Macroeconomics 2. I really busted my ass of studying Macro cause I dun really wanna see the lecturer again. She's one hell of a grouchy women which i just can't stand. Well, Law was open book so I got the idea that I could take it easy until I took the exam paper. BIG MISTAKE was banging in my head every single microsecond after the paper. How about my other 2 papers if u were wondering??? Well there was Statistics and I am capably unable to do anything regarding Maths. I just hate Maths. Well maybe you can say that I was just lazy no to do practices. Should have listen to my old man and do a simply course like bakery or even something English related. If I did bakery, I might even be in Aussie right now opening a shop without a worry. Another mistake I made in my life... Anyways back to Stats. For Stats, i just needed to earn 50% of the paper to pass. There was 20 MCQs worth 2 marks each so I hope that I can at least tembak more than half of it. For the long questions I could do almost half of it so hopefully i will pass my Stats. Still wondering how I'm ever gonna pass my Quantitative Analysis which is a harder form of Stats for those who do not know. Lastly Marketing. Well the lecturer gave pointers on which one will come out but it was worthless because in the end what she told us to read was the WHOLE DAMN TEXT BOOK!!! Well maybe it's cause i dun wanna see her too again that I manage to read the WHOLE DAMN TEXT BOOK. She's different from my Micro lecturer, like a typical old granny, extremely long winded and can put even the most hardworking students to sleep in record time thanks to her long-windedness. I think she will do great looking after kids. She can just read them a book, blah blah blah and all will fall asleep, dead as logs. So thanks to reading the whole book, I was able to answer the questions yet deep within my heart there lingers the sense of fear every minute or so popping out and giving me visions of failing and having to see her again. OMG!!! Now that exams are over, like always I'll be kicking myself hard for not listening to the little, very little voice behind my head thats constantly reminding me to study instead of play DOTA. Really DOTA, wait not only DOTA but all of Blizzard's game can ruin people's life. Easy for me to blame others when I should have just learnt my lesson and STUDIED IN THE FIRST PLACE. Well, my heart is still beating like crazy and I told myself I will only check my results once I have braced myself. Writing here sure gave me a small small relief. Well I think you could tell from this essay I wrote easily within 5 minutes that I am super nervous. Will be burying my head in my pillow praying real hard so I'm out.